I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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