chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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