I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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