My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize