There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
