I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
