What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
