I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
