i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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