Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
