I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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