I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
