He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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