So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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