I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
