It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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