how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
