I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
