I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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