Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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