Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
