champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
