wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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