woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
