I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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