Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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