yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
