did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
