I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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