Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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