bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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