i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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