There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
