the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
