I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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