this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
40s are totally the cure
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
