i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
And then my night got REAL pukey
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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