TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
