so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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