WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
