But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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