If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
