I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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