am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The Olympian is in my bed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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