Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
