I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
