Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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