i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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