what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
