I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
