we have officially mastered the walk of shame
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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