Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
