i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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