Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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