I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
