Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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