Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
