Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
