After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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