We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My vagina just recognized that song.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
