the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
