everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
