A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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