So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
someone owes me an orgasm
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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