dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
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she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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